Category Archives: Jesus Junk & Christian Kitsch

Christian Kitsch and Jesus Junk 6 – Philosophical Kitsch

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I came across this the Unemployed Philosophers Guild website via Felix Hominum and it is chock-full of humorous kitsch.

Previous instalments of my “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch,” may be found here. Take special note of volume 4, the “What is Kitsch?” volume. Enjoy!

On the snack food side of things they have Nietzsche’s Will to Power Bar:

They also have a full assortment of mints including After Shakespeare Mints, After Therapy Mints, Anti Establish Mints, IndictMints, nlighten Mints, Kiss Mints, Manly Mints, Morning After Mints, National EmbarrassMints, and the theological pièCE de résistance (move over, Testamints!): Atone Mints

In addition, the Sin-O-Mints are also quite clever, as are the Forbidden Fruits sour apple flavour candies:

In the doll department, you can purchase plush dolls of many different thinkers such as Bach, Beethoven, Che Guevara, Darwin, Einstein, Freud, Galileo, Marx, Nietzsche, Shakespeare, and Socrates. On the religious side of things they have Buddha, Gandhi, and of course, Jesus — complete with a “WWID” bracelet:

One of the most “kitschy” items they have (which someone’s grandma may in fact want!) is the Last Supper Pillow with a wind-up music box that plays “Hey Jude” by the Beatles! I really think a more appropriate song would be something like Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus.”

They also have a variety of finger puppets and puppet sets, tee shirts, coffee mugs, among other things!

Check it out — and feel free to buy me whatever you think I may want! Seriously…

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch 5 – Special Kitschmas Holiday Edition

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It’s has been a while since I posted an edition of “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch,” so I thought a special holiday edition would be appropriate! Now, you may be thinking that Christmas may be an easy target for a kitsch piece — and you’re right! During the holiday season kitsch is king — so much so that Christmas kitsch has even elicited its own name: Kitschmas! But here I will try not to settle for the easy targets, the commonplace pieces of Christmas kitsch available at any big box store like inflatable Santas or animated reindeer. Instead, I will try to bring you some truly bizzare Christmas fare. As you will see, an appropriate theme for this issue is the nativity scene. The nativity is truly a kitsch-magnet. It boggles the mind to think of all of the kitschy nativity scenes available in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

Previous installments of my “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch,” may be found here. Take special note of volume 4, the “What is Kitsch?” volume. Knock yourself out!

The Inflatable Christmas

Inflatable Christmas decorations seem to be all the rage this year and baby Jesus is not exempt. There are a number of inflatable nativity scenes on the market; here are some highlights.

Outdoor Inflatable Nativity #1
This nativity scene will certainly get the neighbours talking! Joseph looks like the nephilim of old and Mary looks appropriately iconic for a woman who just experienced natural childbirth in a stable! I’m not sure who those kids are supposed to be… shepherds perhaps?

Outdoor Inflatable Nativity #2
If you thought the last inflatable nativity scene was impresive, just look at this one — it even comes with its own stable! (sorry, lowing animals are not included) To top it off, this giant 9 foot nativity inflatable includes lights for a stunning nighttime display!

The only real question I have is what did Santa do with Joseph? Did he get Yukon Corleone to knock him off? (Bonus if you can identify the pop culture allusion!) This beauty is still available from Bronners.

Massive Inlatable Jesus
The last two inflatables are dwarfed by this massive inflatable Jesus. This would be the sure way to attract attention! I imagine the theme of this vinyl-coated nylon marvel is something like “Jesus loves the little children.”

This inflatable comes from my native home town of Edmonton (see here). It almost looks as if kids could use Jesus’ lap as a trampoline — lap dance anyone? (OK, sorry, that was entirely uncalled for!)

Techno Jesus Nativities

Moving from the massive to the techno, who knew fibre optics and nativity scenes would make such a good team… kind of like peanut butter and jelly! There are two sets vying for your hard earned cash:

Fiber Optic Nativity Set #1
The miracle of Christmas is displayed in this exquisitely crafted poly resin, fiber optic creche. This Nativity contains transparent fibers that continually change through a virtual rainbow of colors. Lights surround the wooden stable, golden halos on Mary and Joseph and the crib of the Christ child. The complete set contains the manger with the holy family and moveable shepherd, sheep, mule, camel, ox and faux grass and straw.

Unfortuantly, it has been discontinued (see here). Too bad, so sad!

Fibre Optic Nativity Set #2
This colorful 14 inch fiber optic nativity is a must have for your Christmas décor. Exquisitely crafted from porcelain and masterfully accented with hand painted details, this beautiful nativity contains transparent fibers that continuously change through a rainbow of colors.

This one almost looks like a mix between a nativity scene and a scene from the little mermaid — at least the halos look like shells to me!

Thomas Kinkade Nativity Tree
OK, so this one doesn’t have fibre optics, but it does have lights and music! If you can believe it, this precious item is the first-ever illuminated nativity scene Christmas tree decoration!

From the description: “This illuminated tabletop decorated Christmas tree lights up at the touch of a switch and also plays Silent Night. Given the time-intensive handcrafting involved in this Hawthorne Village exclusive, demand could rapidly exceed availability. Be one of the first to get this unique Christmas decoration and gift idea.” OK, I’ll be right on it!

From Bad to Worse…

In my books the following examples of Christmas kitsch take the proverbial cake.

Nativity Kitchen Timer
How did Joseph get to Bethlehem just in time for Mary to give birth on Christmas Day? He relied on his trusty Nativity Kitchen Timer, of course! Only $9.99 plus postage.

Originally from My Beloved Gifts, this treat doesn’t appear to be available anymore. (HT Ship of Fools)

Nativity Belt Buckle
Talk about the “Bible belt” (haha). Now you can take the nativity with you wherever you go! Just remember to let it out a few notches before Christmas dinner!

Naked Troll Nativity
OK, these naked dolls are kind of creepy IMHO! I’m not sure why anyone would want naked troll dolls in the first place (except for Mimi Bobeck on the Drew Carey Show), let alone naked troll nativity dolls!

I’m just thankful that the Joseph doll is not anatomically correct!

If trolls aren’t your thing, then perhaps you will like this hobbit nativity scene:

Pooping Next to Baby Jesus?
OK, most nativity scenes have Joseph, Mary, baby Jesus, shepherds, some animals, an angel or two, and perhaps some wise men (although they were there much later!). I guess in the Catalonia region of Spain, nativity scenes also have an object called a caganer. The caganer is a figurine representing a peasant (or at times famous people) who is squatting in the corner of the stable, trousers dropped, taking a poop!

Lest we be offended, this figure is not meant to be disrespectful. In Catalan culture the peasant represents a hope for fertility in the coming year (for more about the tradition, see here) and finding the caganer is a fun game, especially for children.

If you’re interested in adding this to your Christmas traditions (I wonder what my wife would think if I tried to add one to our nativity scene?), check out caganer.com for some interesting caganer, including the one pictured above, which is supposed to be George W. Bush.

Jesus’ Flogging Lights

If you didn’t think that Mel Gibson’s flogging of Jesus in The Passion of the Christ was a bit overdone, then you will probably want to get your very own flogging of Jesus Christmas light display for next year. Just think of the money you will save if you use LED lights!

The Twelve Days of Kitschmas

If this sort of stuff tickles your funny bone, you will want to check out the “Twelve Days of Kitschmas” over at Ship of Fools. This is their annual roundup of truly covetable gifts for Kitschmas, though they are not necessarily Christmas kitsch. They also have an interesting read about kitsch and true religion in their Christ vs. kitsch feature you may want to check out. In addition, Going Jesus has a cavalcade of nativity scenes that is worth taking a gander at (and where I got some of the above).

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch 4.1 – Special Edition: Bible-Inspired Erotic Calendar!?

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OK, being seeker-friendly is one thing, but this is another! Reuters has a story about a German youth group which has produced a 2006 calendar with Bible-inspired erotic images. The images include a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson’s hair, a nude Eve offering an apple, Lot’s wife and daughters (!), Bathsheba in her bath, Salome’s dance, as well as some how I am not sure how they could be erotic, such as Jesus’ baptism and the near sacrifice of Isaac. The project is explained online here.

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 4 – What is Kitsch?

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I’ve been asked by some readers “What is ‘Kitsch’?” In this post I will attempt to define it, or more accurately, I will show some ways that it has been used in the discussion of religion & popular culture. I should say at the onset that much of my thoughts on kitsch have been formed in part by the following books:

McDannell’s work is perhaps the classic work on the material culture of different religions from an outsider religious studies perspective, while Brown’s monograph focuses more on the aesthetics of taste. I have not had a chance to examine Spackerman’s work yet, though it looks intriguing. Miller’s absolutely excellent work is an analysis of the effect of advanced capitalism on religion, especially on the effects of the commodification of religion in our culture.

While I am primarily interested in “Christian” kitsch, all religions have their own material culture, and consequently their own kitsch. There are many examples of “Judaikitsch,” Islamic kitsch, and kitsch from eastern religions. Thus you can buy Mitsvah Bears, Krishnah action figures (as well as Shiva and Buddah), or “I Love Allah” rulers.

What is “Kitsch”?

The term “kitsch” gained popularly by the 1930s when it was used to describe poor art. While the etymology of the word is unclear, many suggest the term was coined by German painters during the mid-1800s to deride the cheap “tourist art” bought in Munich (Kitschen with the sense “to make cheap”). Thus, the term “kitsch” is used by many to denote trivial literature, low quality materials, sentimental arts, or vulgar merchandise. Beyond this, McDannell finds that there are three distinct ways or approaches that scholars, artists, and cultural critics use the term “kitsch”: cultural, aesthetic, and ethical.

A Cultural Approach
Sociologists, anthropologists, and cultural studies specialists note that for many the term “kitsch” is pejorative and reflects a cultural bias. In contrast to this understanding of the term, proponents of this perspective understand kitsch as a reflection of educational and economic levels, among other things. Thus Bourdieu notes, “art and cultural consumption are predisposed, consciously and deliberately or not, to fulfill a social function of legitimating social differences.” One person’s art will be another person’s kitsch.

Every social group has its own artistic expression that include a system of aesthetics with its own internal logic and we should not judge one group’s material culture by the standard’s of another.

An Aesthetic Response
Artists and cultural critics are not as forgiving as social scientists, and some tend to see kitsch as mass produced and inferior art, a cheap imitation of good art.

This approach places kitsch as a subset of art — it tries to be art, but it ultimately fails. Some proponents of ths approach understand this low quality art as an attempt to identify with the “real art” of the upper classes. Thus, kitsch required the existence of a mature cultural tradition from which inferior copies could be made (Greenberg). Of course, this approach begs the question of who gets to decide what is real art and what is not!

An Ethical Response: Kitsch as Anti-art
A final approach to kitsch understands it as containing a negative moral dimension. It holds that art should reflect the true, the good, and the beautiful — and kitsch does not. “Art, then, is, in its own way — no less than theology — a revelation of the Divine” (Lindsay). If this is the case, then kitsch is “the element of evil in the value system of art” (Broch). For example, the ability of kitsch to “sentimentalize the infinite” has ethical connotations as it reduces something meaningful to a bauble and divorces it from its original meaning-providing context. I can’t help but think of all of the “Precious Moments” figurines that elicit an “aww… isn’t that cute” response.

Kitsch and Commodification

The rise of Christian retailing in the 19th and 20th centuries added a new dimension to the whole kitsch debate. While “Jesus junk” has its origins in the 1800s, it exploded with the development of advanced capitalism in the late 1900s. In the 1990s the sales of Christian products exceeded 3 billion annually — and that’s just in the United States! Advanced capitalism, with its outsourcing, niche marketing, and new marketing and advertising techniques has clearly demonstrated that anything — absolutely anything — can become a commodity. This results in the reduction of beliefs, symbols, and religious practices into “free-floating signifiers” to be consumed like anything else. The result is the proliferation of what some would consider “kitsch.”

Final Thoughts

I have sympathies for all of the approaches to kitsch noted above. The more neutral social-scientific study of kitsch is crucial for understanding the material culture of different groups within Christianity. This I believe has to be the first step in any analysis of kitsch. In regards to the aesthetic approach, I think it is very difficult to maintain a rigid dualism between good art and kitsch — especially in the light of blurred distinctions between camp, pop art, hyper-realism, and even kitsch art.

But when I put on the hat of a theologian and take an “insider” perspective, I find it difficult to maintain neutrality. But rather than take an ethical stance based on some idea of aesthetics, I would base my ethical repsonse based on the affect of advanced capitalism on Christianity. In this sense, I am more concerned with the commodification that much of Christian kitsch represents, than with any evaluation of its artistic merit. I can’t help but think that much of what I would consider “kitsch” devalues and cheapens Christianity (or Judaism, Islam, Hinudism, or any religion) by taking it out of its faith context and reducing it to a product to be consumed like anything else. But then again, I could be wrong!

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, 3.2 – Special Edition: Scripture Poker Chips

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I heard about these from a friend who frequents Christian retailing shows, but couldn’t find them anywhere on the internet. But who says perseverance doesn’t pay off! Next time you ante up, why not witness at the same time? That’s right, what we have here are some Scripture Poker Chips called “Faith Chips.”

A press release from assistnews, notes that these chips are meant to be “an ultra cool mini tract to hand out… designed to persuade nonbelievers against gambling with their eternal souls, but could also be used to help a believing gambler kick the gambling habit.”

Take a gamble and purchase some today from kerusso.com. I know next time I play Texas Hold’em I will be doing more than winning!

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, 3.1 – Special Edition: Talking Bible Dolls

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I just came accross a press release for Talking Bible Dolls.

Yes, that’s right, now you can buy a Talking Moses, Talking Jesus, or a Talking Esther doll!

When you push their felt hearts they recite different verses. Jesus knows a number of verses from the prophets, psalms, and gospels, while Moses recites the Ten Commandments. I couldn’t discover what Esther said, though I bet it wasn’t “let the ten sons of Haman be hanged on the gallows” (Esther 9:13).

I was a bit surprised, however, that despite the popularity of ancient Aramaic and Hebrew since the release of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, these dolls speak modern English. Another shocker is that the Talking Moses doll is not Jewish! He appears to be Protestant — at least that is what I would think from his recitation of the Ten Commandments (see my previous blog entry on the Ten Commandments here if you don’t know what I am referring to).

I can’t be too hard on these dolls, they are kind of cute. You can purchase them from talkingbibledolls.com.

Now if only we could have a Talking Job’s Wife Doll that tells you to curse God and die!

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 3

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I sat in meetings all day (I love being back from sabbatical — really!). In honour of my boring day, I figured it was about time for another light-hearted installment of “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch” (for previous installments, see volume 1 and volume 2, as well as related posts here).

This time I am tackling the whole area of “Christian” clothing. I know I said in my last installment that I was going to cover Christian toiletries (somewhat relevant considering my “potty” posts), but all I could find (thankfully!?) were these items:

From left-to-right you have the cleansing Bar of Faith Prayer Soap, Bar of Faith Hand & Body Lotion, and Bar of Faith Conditioning Shampoo. You know what the Bible says, “Cleanliness is next to godliness!” You can purchase these all from Christian Toiletries, Inc.

Anyhow… back to Christian clothing… This topic isn’t quite as “kitschy” as others. The importance of distinctive dress for some in the community is emphasized in both the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible (tefillin, tzitzit, etc.) and the New Testament (head coverings, modest dress for women). Historically Christians have often distinguished themselves from others through clothing (and some still do, e.g., Hutterites, Amish Mennonites, etc. — As a side note, Colleen McDannell has a great discussion of Mormon under garments in her book, Material Christianity: Religion and Popular Culture in America [Yale University Press, 1995; Buy from Amazon.ca | Buy from Amazon.com]). And, hey, my own kids wear tee-shirts from the Christian camps they attended and I even sport a Dead Sea Scrolls tie every once and a while!

When the Bible talked about distinctive dress, however, I’m not sure that this is what was intended! (And I wonder if any of these have ever been challenged in regards to copyright infringement?)

Christian Tee-Shirts

The Christian Tee-Shirt is a staple of Christian merchandising. Some classics are the Coke and 7/11 knock-offs:

I was actually surprised how many different “Christian” Tee-Shirts there are (see here and here for more). Some others I found interesting, include the following shirt which I hear looks quite similar to a beer bottle label, as well as another one that I wasn’t quite sure about until I discovered that the hand configuration means, “I love you” — isn’t that sweet!

This Atkins diet-inspired shirt is also quite trendy, though it is guilty of false advertising since paper is probably quite high in carbs!

And, of course, you can get shirts for kids:

(I have to admit that these are rather cute — even the Bob the Builder knock-off).

“Christian” Socks and Undergarments

I found quite a few varieties of “Christian” socks (gee, I wonder if they smell or if you can walk on water with them?!), and even some underwear!

There is a whole line of “Wait Wear” panties with slogans such as “Abstinence Ave. Exit When Married,” “Traffic Control. Wait for Marriage,” or “No Vows. No Sex” (The only question I have is who will be reading this underwear?)

There is also a bunch of underwear that can’t really be called Christian because they appear to be mocking Christianity — I won’t bother showing any here.

I was quite surprised, however, to find the following rubber top sporting a Christian icon on it:

I should probably clarify how I came upon this image — and no, I was not searching for “Christian bras”! Earlier this summer I volunteered at a “Jerusalem Marketplace” Day Camp, so in an effort to discover what authentic garb in first century Jerusalem would look like, I did some Google searches for “first century Palestine clothing” and the like, and I found the bra above when searching for “Jesus clothing” (honest… check it out for yourself. It was even with moderate safe-search selected!). OK, enough explanation!

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, 2.1 – Biblical Plagues & Plaguedomes

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Plagues appear to be rather “in” right now. I blogged on a new feature film called The Reaping, which is based loosely on the biblical plagues here.

Jim West at Biblical Theology recently drew our attention to an online quiz, “Which biblical plague are you?” Jim happened to be frogs, while Brandon Wason at Novum Testamentum turned out to be boils. I also did the quiz and I happen to be darkness! Ooo… Scary!

This reminded me of a great piece of kitsch that I came across a number of years ago: Biblical Plaguedomes. There are two different plaguedomes available: the Swarm of Locusts Plaguedome and the Three Days of Darkness Plaguedome:

I’m not sure why they haven’t made a “River of Blood” Plaguedome (wouldn’t that be easy?) or a Gnat Plaguedome (that would be a easy knock-off of the locust one), but I do understand why they haven’t tried a Plague of Cattle Plaguedome (how would you make some fall and others not)?

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 2

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More Scripture Candy

In my first installment of “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch” I highlighted some of the classic examples of Scripture Candy, such as Testamints and Bible Bars. I never realized just how much of this sort of stuff there is available. Here are some more prime examples of what I have dubbed “Scripture Candy.”

Noah’s Ark Gummi Animals

Now you can eat the animals that were on the Ark! These assorted animal-shaped candies come in a variety of fruit flavors. From the picture, it even looks like the animals come in pairs! (not sevens — I guess these are the Priestly Ark Animals!) They were saved from the flood just so your kid can eat them as a snack!

Bible Verse Fortune Cookies

For those who want to have something more international, you can get these Fortune Cookies with Bible verses in them.

It’s tough to read the verses from the picture and they never indicate what verses they included, so I thought I would recommend one which I think is highly appropriate: “The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thou sweet words” (Prov 23:8 KJV).

Candy Cross Suckers

There is not only one type of Candy cross Suckers, but two! You can get the basic Cross-Shaped Suckers or the fancy Candy Cross Suckers with Popping Dip Candy. Both come in assorted fruit flavors. And guess what?! They’re even fat free!

Now when you take up your cross and follow Jesus, you can eat the cross if you feel a bit peckish! I wonder what Dietrich Bonhoeffer would say?

Star of David Chocolate Pops

These tasty treats are for our Jewish friends. These are certified kosher and come in either Dairy or Pareve. In addition to the Star of David pops, you can also get “Chai” pops (“life”), Dreidels, and Menorahs, among other things.

Fruit of the Spirit Pressed Powder Candy

These confections from Sweet Truths
are based on Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” I think there should be a law against how much cheesy Bible candy one should make!

Stay tuned for the next installment when we’ll look at Christian toiletries!

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 1 – Classic Kitsch

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Yesterday’s blog entries on “Glory Golf balls” (see here and here) represent only the tip of the Christian retailing iceberg. There is a tonne of “Jesus Junk” available in local Christian book stores and online. Some of it is sincere, while some is obviously tongue-in-cheek. This will be the first in a series of blog entries on “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch.” In this first one I will highlight some of what I consider some of the “classic” food products.

Testamints

These are classic “Jesus Junk.” These are available in Wintergreen, Spearmint, Peppermint and sport a Scripture verse on each wrapper. The distributor’s web page suggests that you “place on a desk to surprise a friend or co-worker” among other things. These are meant to be sincere witnessing products. They also sell “Scripture Bars” which are chocolate bars with Bible verses on the wrappers, as well as “Testamints Gum.”

Bible Bar

Another classic, these all-natural nutritional bars are made from the list of foods that are called good in Deuteronomy 8:7-8: “For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey.” According to one distributor,

Each bar is bursting with God-given nutrients: protein, monounsaturated fats, complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, phytonutrients, and fiber. But yet, it is so much more than just a health bar. God obviously had some very important reasons for linking these seven foods to the Promised Land. Therefore, when you eat a Bible Bar, you are consuming seven foods that God called good and in a form that is easy and convenient to use.

Now, not that I want to be picky, but if you are going to base your recipe on God’s word, then I think you should have it right! The main advertised ingredients of these “Bible Bars” are wheat, barley, raisins, figs, pomegranates, olive oil, and honey. Taking “vines” as raisins is a bit of a stretch since ‏גֶ֥פֶן typically refers to grapes or grape-bearing vines. Raisins would be referred to as ‏‏צִמֻּקִ֖ים Moreover, an examination of the ingredients, you will also discover that in addition to these seven foods, they also include brown rice syrup, brown rice, almond butter, raspberry fruit powder, and sea salt! Sounds to me like they are on a slippery slope! Logia, the manufacturer, also makes other tasty snacks by the names of “Abraham’s Bosom Sunflower Bar,” “Rachel’s Delight Sesame Honey Bar,” ” King David’s Treat Cranberry Nut Bar,” among others.

Bible Gum

Witness in two languages while blowing bubbles! A pouch of this classic Christian treat consists of two pieces of gum with a small card containing a Bible question on one side and the answer on the other side, as well as where to locate it in the Bible. Cards are printed in English and Spanish. According to its manufacturer,

Bible Gum stimulates, promotes, and reinforces interest in the Bible regardless of religious upbringing. “The Bible is for everyone!” Bible Gum, in it’s non-threatening, non-judgmental format, is a wonderful way to introduce the “scripturally threatened” individual to one of humanity’s most powerful and revered historical and spiritual compiling. Bible Gum “breaks the ice.”

Make sure to get yours today!

Some Thoughts

What should we make of these examples of Christian kitsch? Well, on the one hand these products appear to be well-meaning attempts to witness to people, akin to Bible tracts. Of course, if you have problems with tracts, then you will have the same problems with this sort of stuff. Perhaps more disturbing how they represent a trivialization and commercialization of the faith. That being said, Christian retailing is big business with sales exceeding three billion dollars annually in the U.S. People are buying this stuff!