Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, 2.1 – Biblical Plagues & Plaguedomes

Plagues appear to be rather “in” right now. I blogged on a new feature film called The Reaping, which is based loosely on the biblical plagues here.

Jim West at Biblical Theology recently drew our attention to an online quiz, “Which biblical plague are you?” Jim happened to be frogs, while Brandon Wason at Novum Testamentum turned out to be boils. I also did the quiz and I happen to be darkness! Ooo… Scary!

This reminded me of a great piece of kitsch that I came across a number of years ago: Biblical Plaguedomes. There are two different plaguedomes available: the Swarm of Locusts Plaguedome and the Three Days of Darkness Plaguedome:

I’m not sure why they haven’t made a “River of Blood” Plaguedome (wouldn’t that be easy?) or a Gnat Plaguedome (that would be a easy knock-off of the locust one), but I do understand why they haven’t tried a Plague of Cattle Plaguedome (how would you make some fall and others not)?

Web Surfers Beware: “www” in Hebrew is 666 or Mark of the Beast

I could not resist noting this story:

Domain Registrars Beware: ‘www.’ in Hebrew is 666 or Mark of the Beast

July 26, 2005 – (HOSTSEARCH.COM) – In apocalyptic end-of-the-world domain registrar security news, the newly founded e-Knights of the Cross have revealed in a press release that “www” is ancient Hebrew for 666 or the sign of the devil. According to the e-Knights the world wide web (although not the Internet) is a tool of the devil projecting the “Mark of the Beast” onto unwitting web surfers’ foreheads from their monitors. ….

Wow… they’re right! At least in that “www” represented in Hebrew is ווו (waw-waw-waw or vav-vav-vav in modern transliteration) and vav is numeric equivalent of 6 in traditional Hebrew usage. I sure am glad I don’t have “www” as part of my URL! Of course, this all breaks down when one realizes that the number six-hundred-and-sixty-six would be represented as תרסו or מסו , not ווו. (This is 400 + 200 + 60 + 6 or 600 + 60 + 6). Bummer! For more information on the e-Knights of the Cross see www.istheBeast.com and www.E-KnightsoftheCross.org.

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 2

More Scripture Candy

In my first installment of “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch” I highlighted some of the classic examples of Scripture Candy, such as Testamints and Bible Bars. I never realized just how much of this sort of stuff there is available. Here are some more prime examples of what I have dubbed “Scripture Candy.”

Noah’s Ark Gummi Animals

Now you can eat the animals that were on the Ark! These assorted animal-shaped candies come in a variety of fruit flavors. From the picture, it even looks like the animals come in pairs! (not sevens — I guess these are the Priestly Ark Animals!) They were saved from the flood just so your kid can eat them as a snack!

Bible Verse Fortune Cookies

For those who want to have something more international, you can get these Fortune Cookies with Bible verses in them.

It’s tough to read the verses from the picture and they never indicate what verses they included, so I thought I would recommend one which I think is highly appropriate: “The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thou sweet words” (Prov 23:8 KJV).

Candy Cross Suckers

There is not only one type of Candy cross Suckers, but two! You can get the basic Cross-Shaped Suckers or the fancy Candy Cross Suckers with Popping Dip Candy. Both come in assorted fruit flavors. And guess what?! They’re even fat free!

Now when you take up your cross and follow Jesus, you can eat the cross if you feel a bit peckish! I wonder what Dietrich Bonhoeffer would say?

Star of David Chocolate Pops

These tasty treats are for our Jewish friends. These are certified kosher and come in either Dairy or Pareve. In addition to the Star of David pops, you can also get “Chai” pops (“life”), Dreidels, and Menorahs, among other things.

Fruit of the Spirit Pressed Powder Candy

These confections from Sweet Truths
are based on Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” I think there should be a law against how much cheesy Bible candy one should make!

Stay tuned for the next installment when we’ll look at Christian toiletries!

Hebrew Bible Related Reviews from RBL

There are a number of good books relating to Hebrew Bible reviewed in this week’s Review of Biblical Literature. Johnston’s Useless Beauty is a great example of reading contemporary movies alongside a biblical book so as to encourage theological reflection. I am also interested in a couple of the books reviewed as potential textbooks. I have a course on Religions of the ancient Near East under development and Religions of the Ancient World: A Guide may fit the bill. Similarly, for a potential senior course on biblical criticisms, Moyise’s Introduction to Biblical Studies looks pretty good.

Here are the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible reviews as well as a couple more:

  • Joshua A. Berman, Narrative Analogy in the Hebrew Bible: Battle Stories and Their Equivalent Non-battle Narratives. Reviewed by Robin Gallaher Branch
  • Robert K. Johnston, Useless Beauty: Ecclesiastes through the Lens of Contemporary Film. Reviewed by David Shepherd
  • Gerard P. Luttikhuizen, ed., Eve’s Children: The Biblical Stories Retold and Interpreted in Jewish and Christian Traditions. Reviewed by Tobias Nicklas
  • John Rogerson, Genesis 1-11. Reviewed by David Petersen
  • John Rogerson, Theory and Practice in Old Testament Ethics. Reviewed by Stephen Reed
  • André Wénin, Joseph ou l’invention de la fraternité: (Genese 37-50). Reviewed by Walter Vogels
  • Steve Moyise, Introduction to Biblical Studies. Reviewed by Kate Donahoe
  • John F. O’Grady, Men in the Bible: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Reviewed by Philip Davies
  • Sarah Iles Johnston, ed., Religions of the Ancient World: A Guide. Reviewed by Bill Arnold
Posted in RBL

The Bible: A Dangerous Weapon?

This sad story comes from the Detroit Free Press:

Judge sentences man accused of beating girlfriend with Bible

SAGINAW, Mich. (AP) — A man accused of beating his girlfriend on Halloween with a Bible has been sentenced to 7 years and 11 months to 15 years in prison.

Saginaw County Circuit Judge William A. Crane last week sentenced Charles E. Averill, 46, of Saginaw. Averill had pleaded no contest to charges including assault with intent to commit great bodily harm and carrying a dangerous weapon with unlawful intent.
….