My previous post, “Abbott and Costello Learn Hebrew,” seems to have been a hit, so I thought I would post a reading that I use when I teach Koine Greek. This has its origins in my days as a student at Regent College in Vancouver, B.C. I can’t recall who originally wrote it, but I have had a copy that I have edited through the years.

Feel free to use it with attribution (“Got this from Tyler Williams who got it from someone at Regent College”!). If I find out who wrote the original I will post it. Enjoy.

Dr. Seuss Learns Greek

Do you like to study Greek?

I do not like to study Greek
Whoever does becomes a geek.

Will you study here? or there?

I will not study here or there
I will not study anywhere.

Would you study in your room?

Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Would you study at a table?
Would you, would you, if you’re able?

I will not study at a table,
I will not study, though I’m able
I do not like that Greek you see
At college or at seminary
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Would you study in the rain?
Would you like to use your brain?

Not in the rain
Not with my brain
Stop please stop
Don’t ask again

Would you, could you on term break?
Do it for the gospel’s sake?

I will not do it on term break
Not even for the gospel’s sake
I do not like to memorize
Those funny letters hurt my eyes
Not in the rain
Not with my brain
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

You may like it, you will see
Try studying Greek in a tree.

I would not, could not in a tree
Not on term break
Quit bugging me!
What?! Use my brain?
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Take Greek this term
Without apology
Drop Systematic Theology

Perhaps for you, but not for me
Greek isn’t practical, you see
I’d rather learn to fix transmissions
I’m a candidate for missions

Would you take it in the summer?
Six weeks of verbs won’t make you dumber
You might like the paradigms
Repeating lists five thousand times

I would not, could not in the summer
For six whole weeks–what a bummer!
I will not drop another class
My GPA!! I might not pass
I will not study Greek at all
Not in summer, not in fall

You don’t like Greek
That’s what I’m hearing

You won’t get lost!
That’s what I’m fearing!

Could you not learn three small words?

Not three
Not two
Not even one
Too much pain
Not much gain
Against my grain

Do you think Greek is for the birds?

Not for birds, perhaps for nerds
I will not learn it
It ain’t fun
Not three, not two
Not even one
I will not study Greek at all
Not in summer, not in fall
I’d rather take Christology
Or Gypsy Numerology
Not in the rain
Not with my brain
I will not study in a tree
Get off my case and let me be!
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there, not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

You do not like it, so you say
Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may, I say

O.K., if you will let me be
I will try it, watch and see
Λεγω, λεγεις, λεγει, λεγομεν
I can’t do this stuff — Amen!

Say it again
Forget “amen”
You will do better
If you say each letter

Λεγετε, λεγει, λεγεις, λεγω
I think I’ve got it!
Do you think so?

Now you’ve got it!
You’re on your way
A Bible scholar
Some future day
Without a dollar
And hair all grey
If you pass Greek intro
To Greek exegesis you will go
And if you really want some fun
You can take Greek until you’re done
Then it’s Hebrew
I will teach you

Λεγετε, λεγω, λεγεις, λεγει
Those few verbs and I’m on my way
Learning Greek is so much fun
Barely started, and I’m almost done
Now I’ll learn those paradigms
Repeat vocab a million times
Cards on a ring
Will be my thing
In the summer, in the fall
I’ll do it any time at all
I’ll switch Greek for other classes
No one hits a geek with glasses
I will study in a tree
Now I know Greek is for me
I will do a PhD
I will study on term break
Greek will be a piece of cake
I will study in the rain
Let conjugations fill my brain
I will study at a table
Learn the aorist since I’m able
I will study in my room
Morning, night and afternoon
I will study here and there
I will study EVERYwhere
I do so love to study Greek
I will be a first class geek!