Category Archives: Series

Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch 7.1 – Chocolate Deities

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This won’t be a full edition of Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, but when I saw this sweet pantheon of Chocolate Deities, I just had to post it (for other editions of Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch see here).

I thought about a number of different smart remarks when I first saw these: “I wonder if this is what George Harrison meant by ‘my sweet lord’?” or “Taking up your cross has never been so tasty.”

Here is the website’s descriptions of these divine delicacies:

Hand Made Gourmet Chocolates that celebrate the gods and goddesses of love and luxury, joy and happiness, compassion, peace and serenity, healing, and fertility of the body and imagination. We honor those deities who long for sweet offerings and embrace the notion that chocolate has powers to transport and inspire beyond mere consumables. All chocolates are made to order on the day you order them to ensure their freshness.

I especially liked these product endorsements: “These Chocolates are a godsend! They are artistic, meaningful AND delicious!” or “Many people worship the Buddha. Many people worship chocolate. Now you can do both at the same time.”

Here are a few of the delectable deities, starting with the Judeo-Christian tradition:

Not sure if these are Kosher, but my Jewish readers may enjoy muching on a Chocolate Star of David:

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For Christians, there are crosses and sacred hearts, but sadly, no crucifixes:

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Moving to the eastern religions, you find a whole panoply of pleasing gods, including Buddha, Krishna, and symbols like the Yin/Yang:

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There are many more Chocolate Deities available, including gods from native religion and other ancient gods and goddesses — take a look for yourself.

(HT Mary Ann Beavis)

Do Religious Jokes and Puppets Mix?

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I wouldn’t think that religious jokes and puppets mix, but I have been proved wrong by those over at Beliefnet.com, who have daily jokes told by puppets (which you can view via video). And not just any puppets — these are puppets from different religious backgrounds with all the appropriate (stereotypical) garb. The Jewish Rabbi is wearing a yarmulke and a tallit, the Catholic nun is in full habit, the Muslim Iman comes complete with a kufi hat, and the Hindu guru has wild hair. The puppet troupe is called the Jovialites and you can even help name each of the characters.

You can view the joke of the day here.



Blog Cited in RBL Review

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Bob Buller, the Editorial director for the Society of Biblical Literature, emailed me Sunday to let me know that one of my blog posts was cited in a book review for the Review of Biblical Literature. This is what Bob wrote:

While preparing the next batch of RBL reviews for publication this morning, I encountered what I believe is a first: a reviewer cited for further reading a blog entry from a biblical studies blog. It was your part 3 of the discussion of the LXX psalm superscriptions. I hope that this will become more common, since a number of the blogs offer excellent discussions, but you are the first (to my knowledge).

This is kind of neat, IMHO.

The citation is to my post “The LXX Psalm Superscriptions (Part 3) – Liturgical Notices and the Psalms for the Days of the Week” and may be found in Eileen Schuller‘s review of Peter L. Trudinger, The Psalms of the Tamid Service: A Liturgical Text from the Second Temple (Leiden: Brill, 2004; Buy from Amazon.ca | Buy from Amazon.com). The review — which is very good –  may be found here.


Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch 7 – Jesus Kitsch

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I haven’t posted in my “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch” series for a while, so when I saw the first item below I knew I just had to put together a special “Jesus Kitsch” issue!

This post is part of an on-going series on Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch. Perhaps the best place to start is with my fourth post that discusses some of the different academic perspectives of exactly what is “kitsch.” Other posts include:

All posts in this series may be viewed here.

Jesus: The King of Kitsch

The category of “Jesus kitsch” is enormous. There is probably more Christian merchandise focusing on the person of Jesus Christ than anything else. Like all kitsch, what one considers kitsch is a matter of perspective (one person’s art is another person’s kitsch), though I think that many would agree that most of what I highlight below is rather “kitschy.”

“Jesus Welcomes You” Coat Hanger
I usually would save the most outrageous piece of kitsch for the last, but this time I can’t help but start with it! I don’t think that there is anything that beats the “Jesus Welcomes You” Coat Hanger for its “kitschiness” (is that a word?). I’m not sure what I would think if I actually went somewhere and had to hang my coat up on the spikes through Jesus’ hand — even the available colours scream “kitsch!” (Of course, the nails should probably be through the wrist to be authentic!)

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This is the work of artist Oscar Perez, and as such highlights the fuzzy boundary between art and kitsch. He notes that “this coat hanger can hang two items, a coat or jacket from the fingers and a hat or a light jacket from the nine inch nail.” The coat hangers are available for purchase, though they cost $200 USD each or $500 for the set — somthing else that highlights their status as art. The artist has plans for matching right hand coat hangers as well as a crown of thorns hat rack!

“By His Stripes We Are Healed…”
Next time your kid gets a scratch, forget about putting a Dora or Spiderman bandage on it! Instead, you can put a Jesus Adhesive Bandage on it and let the Lord heal the boo-boo.

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These bandages are courtesy of Archie McPhee, the maker of many other Jesus novelties (see below) as well as nifty “bacon bandages.”

G.I. Joe, Move Over…
G.I. Joe is nothing compared to this Jesus Action Figure! This Lord of all action figures stands 5 inches tall and has poseable arms and wheels in the base for smooth gliding action.

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“Everyone has a different take on Jesus. Muslims saw him as a prophet; Buddhists say he was enlightened; Hindus consider him an avatar (the incarnation of a deity in human form) while Christians hail him as the Son of God. But, wherever your theological compass points, you will agree that this is the coolest action figure since G.I. Joe.” Once again, this comes from none other than Archie McPhee.

You Talking to Me?
While poseable arms are OK, if you really want your child to know the love of God, you really need to get him or her a Talking Jesus Doll. With this “Messenger of Faith,” your children can learn important Bible stories and Scripture in a fun, entertaining way!

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This doll is a foot tall and has fully articulated limbs, including hands and fingers that can gasp and hold. It comes with hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals and quotes over a minute of Bible verses (John 3:16; Mark 12:30-31; John 3:3, 15:5, 20:29 — listen for yourself). To top it all off, this Jesus looks kind of buff!

Here’s another Talking Jesus Action Figure from Vicale Corporation:

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This one recites the ten commandments (the Protestant version, of course!) in a very, very, deep voice that sounds more like the stern God of the Old Testament than the loving Son of God! Listen for yourself.

On the Road Again
According to the Bible, Jesus is with us until the end of the age. With this Dashboard Jesus you get a tangible reminder of His presence while you drive.

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This dashboard Jesus will keep you company for your long drives, courtesy of Archie McPhee!

Head of the Class
 Not to be outdone by Dashboard Jesus, meet Bobble Head Jesus. This cranially endowed saviour is available from Bobble Head World, where you can also get a Football Bobble Head Jesus:

jesus_bobble.jpg footballjesus_bobble.jpg

Jesus: The FreshMaker
Strange odour in your car? Forget those pine tree scented air fresheners. Let this Jesus Air Freshener cleanse your car with “the sweet scent of ‘Purification!'” (Hmmm… what exactly does “purification” smell like? Lysol?)

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Each freshener measures about 4 inches and comes with a string for hanging from your rear view mirror. And you guessed it — it is available from Archie McPhee!

Jesus is no Pan-theist!
Don’t feel left out when everyone else is seeing images of Jesus — just create your own loaf of Jesus bread with this Jesus Pan. You can worship at every meal with this durable steel Jesus pan. And don’t worry about anointing it — your holy hotcakes will drop off this no-fuss, no-stick pan.

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Order two today! (HT Edmund Ho)
Check Out This Jesus!
These Son of God Checks are just divine! (But spelled incorrectly — it should be “cheques” as us civilized Canadians spell it!)

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Just think how you could witness the love of God every time you bounce a cheque!

Jesus is My Coach
No Greco-roman wrestling for Jesus — he plays the same sports your kids play! Your favorite young sports enthusiast will enjoy receiving one of these statues, which feature Jesus playing a popular sport with the children He loves! Choose from Jesus playing many sports including hockey, baseball basketball, and more. The statues stand about 6 inches tall and are available from CatholicSupply.com.

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My favourite is the basketball Jesus, since it looks as it Jesus is teasing the kids by not giving them the ball! And why don’t the kids have hockey helmets on? Oh, I see, they must be following Jesus’ bad example of not wearing a hockey helmet! (If you ever wondered how Jesus may have played with others as a child, check out here).

Dress-Up Jesus
Every wanted to dress Jesus up in a coconut bra and grass skirt? Ballet outfit? A dress? (If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, you really do need help!). What you need, then, is a Magnetic Jesus Fridge Magnet set. There are over thirty different articles of clothing to choose from. Mix and match hundreds of different combinations.

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You can also get a special Christmas Edition as well as a “Final Justice” edition where you can crucify notorious villains all by yourself.

Got Any Smokes?
How would you like to be butting out your cigarette on Jesus’ face with “Jesus hates it when you smoke” printed just below his portrait? If you want to quit smoking or know someone who may need some divine encouragement, check out this Jesus Ashtray.

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Well, that’s about it for this special “Jesus Kitsch” edition of Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch. Hope you enjoyed it!


Textual Criticism In Action (TCHB 9)

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In this post I will demonstrate the practice of textual criticism with two examples, Joshua 1:1 and Psalm 73:7, which highlight the practice of external and internal textual criticism, respectively.

This is the ninth post in a series on the textual criticism of the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament. Other posts include:

All posts in this series may be viewed here.

External Criticism: Joshua 1:1

External criticism, as noted in a previous post, involves the evaluation of a variant in relation to the “original edition” of the MT. This means that if a variant reflects an earlier stage in the literary development of a book, rather than a corruption during the course of its textual transmission, it should be disregarded by the text critic. Because these variants typically do not come to bear on text critical decisions, they are difficult to spot in English translations. Therefore, for this example we have to proceed directly to the Hebrew text. Compare the following readings of Josh 1:1 in the MT and LXX:

  • MT: ויהי ×?חרי מות מש×?×” עבד יהוה
    And it was after the death of Moses the servant of Yahweh… (cf. NIV, NRSV, etc.)
  • LXX: Καὶ á¼?γένετο μετὰ τὴν τελευτὴν Μωυσῆ
    And it was after the death of Moses…

In this example the MT refers to Moses as עבד יהוה (‘bd yhwh), “the servant of Yahweh.” This phrase is missing in the LXX. In fact, the MT of Joshua 1 has more than twelve additional words or phrases that are not found in the LXX. Further, the LXX of the book of Joshua is about 4-5 percent shorter than the MT. This leads one to posit that these differences in the LXX version of Joshua probably represent an earlier edition of that book. Therefore, because this variant in the LXX stands apart from the “original edition” behind the MT, there is no need to evaluate it by internal criticism. It should be ignored.

Internal Criticism: Psalm 73:7

The first example demonstrated the procedure involved when a variant is the result of a separate literary tradition. Psalm 73:7, in contrast, will provide an example of a variant that arose in the transmission of the “original edition” of the MT

An examination of a few English versions of Ps 73:7a reveals a significant textual problem. Compare the following translations:

  • NIV: From their callous hearts comes iniquity (cf. NAB).
  • NRSV: Their eyes swell out with fatness (cf. RSV, NEB, KJV).

In this verse there are two apparent divergences between the English translations, though only one of them reflects a textual difference. The NIV’s reading of “callous hearts” reflects an idiomatic translation of “fat” rather than a variant reading. “Fat,” it is assumed, is a figure for stubbornness and the translators took the liberty of interpreting the figure for the reader so that it makes sense, as modern readers do not think iniquity comes out of “fat” (cf. “crassness” in the NAB).

In this passage the textual variant pertains to “eyes” and “iniquity.” This is indicated by the footnote in the NIV, which indicates that they have followed the Syriac reading of the text rather than the MT, which the NRSV followed.

Now that the textual problem has been discovered, the preliminary step is to collect the variants. While this can be partially done by referring to the notes in the English translations, as noted above, exegetes should look to BHS to discover the exact nature of the textual problem. The verse in BHS reads:

  • יָ֭צָ×? מֵחֵ֣לֶב עֵינֵ֑מוֹ (BHS)
    Lit., “Their eyes come out from fat”

There is a superscript “a” after this line which leads to the second level of apparatus which reads: || 7 a l frt עֲוֹנָמוֹ cf G S ||. This “translates” as, lege(ndum) “to read” fortasse “perhaps” עֲוֹנָמוֹ (‘eonamo), “their iniquity” instead of the reading in the MT, and then asks us to compare with the LXX and the Syriac Peshitta. The LXX (= Ps 72:7) reads: ἡ ἀδικία αá½?τῶν, “their injustice,” while the Peshitta reads similarly.

Now the variant can be evaluated on its transcriptional probability. The word in the MT for “eyes” is עין (‘yn), while the variant suggested by BHS, and adopted by the NIV, is based on the LXX ἀδικία, retroverted to עון (‘vn), “iniquity.” The difference between these Hebrew variants is very slight as in the square script ו and ×™ are easily confused, especially in the DSS. Therefore the variant could be a result of the scribe confusing similar consonants. A major problem with this proposal, however, is that the LXX Psalms never translates עון with ἀδικία, “injustice”; either uses á¼?μαÏ?τία “sin” or ἀνομία “lawlessness” (30+ times). Better retrovert it to ×?ון “wickedness” and see an additional confusion between the aleph and ayin.

In relation to intrinsic probability, the MT makes little sense. The truth is that “their eyes come out with fatness” is incoherent. The NRSV’s “swell out” is an unattested extension of the meaning of the verb יצ×? (yts’) — especially with the preposition “from.” In contrast, the idea of iniquity or wickedness coming out of fatness, understood as a figure of speech for stubbornness, makes sense.

Therefore, in light of internal criticism, “their iniquity” — or better “their wickedness” — appears to be the most plausible. First, the error in the MT can be easily explained away by some common scribal confusions. Second, the MT is unintelligible: How do “eyes come out of fat”?, whereas “wickedness coming out of fat” is understandable once the metonymy of “fat” for “crassness” is understood.