Animals in Heaven?!

Animals_in_heaven.jpgJimmy Kimmel Live had a funny segment tonight on whether or not animals will be in heaven. The segment featured my favourite television prophecy gurus, Dr. Jack and Rexella Van Impe. Those of you who are wondering if Lassie, Garfield, and other animals will be with you in heaven will be relieved to know that “Dr.” Van Impe believes that they will — they have even produced a video on the subject.

The proof text appealed to for the notion that animals will be with us in heaven is Isaiah 11:6-8. The question I have is what happens if you have had a whole bunch of pets during your life? I’m not sure if I want all of my cats and dogs back, let alone all of the rabbits I had (and I imagine that the rabbits I sold to the butcher would be a bit peeved with me! Talk about an ackward reunion!). Just think the size of fish tank people would need if they get all their fish back!

What about pets in hell? (Kimmel’s segment on “Animals in Hell” was even funnier!)

So what do you think?


The (Odd) Language of Sports

I have always thought that the terms used in some sports just don’t make sense. Not that these semantic oddities have kept me awake at night or anything. I just don’t get how the lingo developed. Here are some examples:

  • The 2006 FIFA World Cup is almost upon us. Calling the game “football” makes eminent sense since the game is played by individuals kicking the ball with their foot: foot + ball = football. Why, then, in North America do we call it soccer when no one gets “socked”? (Perhaps we should call female boxing “soccer”? Get is? “sock – her” … haha). (For the history of football, including how the term “soccer” was coined, see here)
  • Why do we call Canadian and American football, football? Whlie kicking the ball is part of the game, it isn’t a big part of the game. I’m not sure of a better name, but I don’t see why we don’t change our name so that we can call soccer football like the rest of the planet. (I know that Canadian and American Football developed from rugby and football/soccer, but why someone change the name so that we wouldn’t get confused? And BTW, did you know that Canadian/American football was first developed in Canada?)
  • Sticking with Canadian and American football for a moment, why do we call a touchdown a touchdown when no one touches down the ball? Why not call a try in rugby a touchdown since it described exactly what happens when you score (for those of you who do not understand rugby, a points are scored when a player physically touches down the ball in the opponent’s end zone). Perhaps something like “run through” would be more appropriate for Canadian and American football?
  • Football (= soccer) players, basketball players, and babies all dribble — is there a connection? (Perhaps only during salary negotiations)
  • In regard to hockey (Of course, I should probably clarify that I am referring to “ice” hockey for my international readers!), why is it called hockey? See here for some conjecture as to the word’s etymology. Why is a puck called a puck? Why did Roloson get hurt? Can the Oilers win with their backup goalie? Will Lord Stanley return home to Edmonton? Sorry… I lost my train of thought!

Well, I should get back to some real work. Go Oilers Go!


The Real Old Testament?!

In my web waderings, I came across a film called The Real Old Testament produced and directed by Curtis and Paul Hannum. From the trailer available on the website, this film looks like a somewhat/very irreverant (so be warned) — yet funny — retelling of select stories from the book of Genesis in a way that reminds me of the sitcom The Office (it is based on the style of MTV’s “Real World” series, which I haven’t seen). It was only shown at a few film festivals, has no rating from what I can tell, but has an IMDb entry. Cool.


Blogger of the Month Interview up at Biblioblogs.com

The revealing tell-all interveiw with this month’s “Biblioblog of the Month” (yours truly!!) has been uploaded at biblioblogs.com. It is a riveting exposé of one of the most influential inconsequential bibliobloggers ever to write a piece of html! I laughed, I cried, and in the end I wanted more. Here is the picture of myself I wanted to include with the interview:

Homer_slippers_sm.jpg

Seriously, I would like to thank Brandon Wason and Jim West for the honour of being Biblioblog of the Month – and for maintaining biblioblogs.com. These are the sorts of things that will provide cohesion to the biblioblog community. Cheers!


I Am No Longer Worthless!

I can’t believe it — I am no longer worthless! (see here and here for previous laments). Or at least my blog is not worthless! For months I have been silently weeping because when I checked how much my blog was worth, it always was a resounding $0.00.

But now, prompted by Loren Rosson, whose blog also is no longer worthless. (Hmmm… it is, however, of significantly less worth than my blog! I wonder if I should associate with him anymore?!) I’m actually worth more than a number of other significant blogs (who will remain nameless, ahem, Jim, lest I be called boastful)


My blog is worth $53,066.76.
How much is your blog worth?

Wow… I’m not sure what I’ll do with all of this money. Perhaps I will redecorate! Shag carpeting anyone?


“David King of Judah” Seal Uncovered (April Fool’s Day 2006 Post)

N.B. This is a post I wrote for April Fool’s Day 2006 (April 1st). To set the record straight in case anyone was fooled, there was no “David King of Judah” seal discovered from Eliat Mazar’s (note spelling) Jerusalem dig. The actual seal below is a doctored image of a royal seal impression of Hezekiah from the Kaufman Collection. I left a number of subtle (perhaps too subtle for some!) hints that the post was a hoax: (1) the spelling of Haaretz and Mazar’s name; (2) the plene spelling of “David” in the seal; and (the most obvious) (3) the tag “AF’s Day.” If I offended anyone by my April Fool’s Day prank, then I am sorry. I meant it to be a joke and I hope everyone — even those fooled — may take it in the spirit in which it was intended — and I promise to only do it once a year! (and hey, what do you expect? I was born on April Fool’s Day!).

The Israeli newspaper Haarets reported this morning a significant discovery among the Eliat Mazur’s Jerusalem “City of David” archaeological dig (for more on some other discoveries from the same dig, see my posts here, including my posts on the Yehukal Seal also discovered at the site). It appears that a bulla/seal was recently discovered among the excavation remains from last summer. Most significantly, it was discovered among the rubble from the part of the excavation that she has identified as the remains of a 10th century royal palace.

The clay seal impression measures about 12 mm by 10 mm and is in a remarkably good state of preservation. The centre of the seal has what appears to be a two winged sun disk, which is probably some sort of royal emblem. The article has a good image of the seal along with a great line tracing:

David_Bullae.jpg

David_Bullae_tracing.jpg

The inscription is on two lines (above and below the sun disk) and reads in a clear paleo-Hebrew script: לדויד ישי מלך יהדה “[Belonging] to David, [son of] Jesse, King of Judah.”

This find is highly significant for a number of reasons, not least being that it appears to have been found in situ in the building Mazur has been excavating and thinks is King David’s palace (at least it was discovered among the rubble from that part of the excavation). While it is too early to speculate, it seems to me that the so-called “minimalists” will have a hard time denying this clear reference to what must be the biblical David.


Love Poetry for Biblical Literalists

Since Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, I figured I would provide some biblical love poetry for any young men who may be out there (I also figured since Jim West showed a picture of his ideal woman, I would too!). Whisper these words into the ears of your Valentine’s Day date and you will be guaranteed a second date! … Really!


(Image from an old Wittenburg Door)

How beautiful you are, my love,
how very beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats,
moving down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
and not one among them is bereaved.
Your lips are like a crimson thread,
and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
behind your veil.
Your neck is like the tower of David,
built in courses;
on it hang a thousand bucklers,
all of them shields of warriors.
Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle,
that feed among the lilies….
Your lips distill nectar, my bride;
honey and milk are under your tongue;
the scent of your garments is like the scent of Lebanon
Your belly is a heap of wheat…
Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,
overlooking Damascus (Song 4:1-5, 11; 7:2, 4)

(OK, most of the metaphors are understandable, though it is interesting that more dynamic translations like the NLT unpack many of the metaphors in these verses, but they leave the breasts alone. Hmmm… so just how are breasts like fawns feeding among the lilies?)